Born @ 27 weeks
2lbs 7oz

Thursday, January 19, 2012

Just what the doctor ordered...


Thanks to our dear friend, 'Aunt Chow', the Richter 4 packed up and headed to the Great Smokies for a long weekend and a much needed respite.

It has been one week since we were diagnosed and our emotions have run rampant - from angst and worry, disbelief and shock to great sadness. I read recently that being diagnosed with a Special Needs child, you will experience the five phases of grief. Grief because you are ‘mourning the loss of the family you longed for/dreamt of’.

I agree with feeling sadness. Sadness for what our little one has to endure – appointment after appointment (almost daily), endless medicines, hospital visits, tests, poking and prodding, surgeries, judgment, ridicule, ignorance, etc. and no reprieve from our current lifestyle as far as the eye can see.  Sadness for his brother, who pretends to mimic Mommy on the phone by saying, “I’m talking to the doctors, Momma.” This is his norm. But the article offended me at the same time. The word ‘mourn’ seems inappropriate…offensive. How could we mourn a family we didn't know? This IS our family and while scary and not without its’ obstacles, this is what our family looks like and ‘mourning’ something that was never intended for us seems ungrateful and insulting to our beautiful children.

Fortunately, the crisp mountain air was therapeutic for us all. Baby Shaw welcomed the closeness of being nestled into Mommy’s chest with each hike, while Michael had the chance to teach Nash a little about the outdoors - something very important to us. For me, it was an opportunity to reflect on where we are, the scary time ahead, the importance of drawing on those close to us, the magnitude of living one day at a time and the power and appreciation of a unified family.

One day at a time…

What a wonderful friend we have in Sara Clow. A friendship spanning the globe - meeting in San Francisco, spending countless blue bird days in Tahoe, sweaty hikes in Hong Kong, lying beachside in Charleston to Thanksgiving toasts in Indonesia. Years later, here we are in the Carolina mountains, cooking good food (very important to Clow - Grow Food Carolina plug!), enjoying a toasty fire, getting outside, having nightly dance parties with Nash and exhaling in the comfort of being with a good friend during a difficult time. Thanks, Aunt Chow, for your endless support and over a decade of friendship.

Richters 4 - be outside

Baby Shaw sound asleep 'in the woods'  
(Shaw means 'in the woods')

Aunt Chow!!

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Beautiful....absolutely beautiful!