Born @ 27 weeks
2lbs 7oz

Tuesday, September 25, 2012

Welcome to Holland

My husband and I have been feverishly house hunting. So far, everything that we have looked at is under contract... days after being listed.

During our drive to school this morning, I was talking to Nash about finding the perfect house for our family. I asked him about his room and what color we should paint it. Without hesitation, he told me green (with some orange). He proceeded to tell me that Shaw's room would be pink (but with a litter coercing, agreed that blue would suffice). Momma & Daddy's room would be white (thank goodness).

We talked about having a swing set and a back yard to play in.

At lunch time, Michael asked the kids and I to meet him to look at a house that was just listed this morning. I got there before he did and Nash and I explored on our own.

After swinging on the swing set in the back, Nash found HIS room, which was green ... and his brother's which was blue. (There is also a pink bedroom, believe it or not, but that would quickly transform to an office).

I smiled to myself at the coincidence.

As I was leaving the upstairs, a painting caught my eye. It was a spectacular water color of tulips and windmills. Underneath, the caption read, "Welcome to Holland" and I burst into tears.

Any Mother of a special child knows 'Welcome to Holland'. It is one of the initial pieces of peace someone shares with you, as you are embracing your new life.

Welcome to Holland

"I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability - to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It's like this......

When you're going to have a baby, it's like planning a fabulous vacation trip - to Italy. 
You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum. The Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It's all very exciting.

After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, "Welcome to Holland."

"Holland?!?" you say. "What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy! I'm supposed to be in Italy. All my life I've dreamed of going to Italy."

But there's been a change in the flight plan. They've landed in Holland and there you must stay.
The important thing is that they haven't taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It's just a different place.

So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met.

It's just a different place. It's slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you've been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around.... and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills....and Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.

But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy... and they're all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say "Yes, that's where I was supposed to go. That's what I had planned."

And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away... because the loss of that dream is a very very significant loss.

But... if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn't get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things ... about Holland."

- Emily Perl Kingsley

We made an offer on the house. :)

1 comment:

TammyO said...

Wow! If that wasn't a sign! I got goosebumps reading this.